Category: citizen trans* {project}
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today I watched the sunpaint gold and mauve cloudswith rays that pierced a crownthrough the rippled changing sky we are water and matter and patterns, mutable and unmuzzled free to bescattered breadcrumb building blocksthat we can make become ways I am more animal than human: I like to let my body do what it doesuse my…
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Who you are is not the choices you make Who you are is the choices you make ad infinitum I chose to keep breathing when I didn’t want to You are not your mistakes You are your routines, no matter how small The rhythm of your coffeepot and morning cigarette The strangers you avoid eye…
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I’m scared (but less than last time, right?)I’m angry (but less than last time, right?)I’m hopeless (but less than last time, right?) What grows in the space betweenNumbness and optimism? Does a future take rootIn the stone of my despair?
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My friend was right. The old guy at the counterwas almost right. But I don’t care aboutthe price of eggs. I live so close I leave topee in my apartment. Who buys eggs? Ihave enough of my own in storage. I bakecinnamon rolls with eggs. Put one in awaffle. But water—I drink it, excrete it,need…
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FIRST BLOODY SHOT IN AGES. EVERYTWO WEEKS I STICK A NEEDLEIN MY LEG AND HOPE I DON’TFEEL IT. TODAY I STICKIT IN HALFWAY AND FEELAN INTERNAL TWITCH. I THINKABOUT CHICKENING OUT ANDPUSHING THE PLUNGER, HALF IN.I THINK ABOUT THE KIDS. ITHINK ABOUT THE KID I USEDTO BE. I STICK THE FUCKING NEEDLEALL THE WAY IN…
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Bones are party clothes,and it’s nearing the end of the night. they’ve worn me down slowly– grinding,itchy and tight: making the flesh of my heelshurt, feel like i’ve got these hot, heavycoals that’re taking their master’s role–becoming the ones who dig and taketo make their way through all my muscles& all the way down to…
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Silence is the way they like us.It’s the way they keep us down, and below,Looking unlike ourselves and up at them.Every breath shallow and undisturbed.Not an action, but a state of being—Silence instead of just quiet. so when Death soaks our history,Every story remains untold.And still they tell us, too loud, flamboyant,Terrorizing their colorless minds.Hurt…
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in the presence of my homei don’t guide many visitorsmostly because as lonely as i ami like my peace & in dark cold nightsi am found tossing & turningbut what could createthe oceans i could swim only bringsweak streams i am tiredof thesesoulless no passion strangers i am anautistic gay trans man how is it…
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I sit down for lunch with a loved oneAnd we exchange pleasantries.And for a moment, I forget who I am,Until the name escapes her lips. “Sapphire” I remind her.“Hm?”“I’m Sapphire.”“And how many more ‘you’s will there be?” She asks. And I know she means well.I tell myself she means well.But I want to lunge over…
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My government felt very far away. I was shopping for wedding rings. Neighbors called off work. Waiting for the blacked-out-window ambiance to pass. No one was coming for me yet. I kept up with a gratitude journal. Bought more paste to slather on my blemishes. No diamonds— I don’t like to think about the children…